Day 276

Dear Little One, I think my days might be off or something. I read in a book the total number of days in the womb are 280 something if you go full term, and we only have 3 days left till your due date which would put us at 279. I wouldn't put it past myself, I've made a lot of mistakes, I just forget one day it is an then I'm a whole week is off, I've tried to fix most of them, but oh, well.
 The other day I was thinking about this blog and praying about all the topics I've covered so far and I was praying about anything I might've missed. One topic came to mind-bitterness. All sin is sinful, but bitterness, it will eat you a live, physically and spiritually. I was just studying all the physical illnesses caused by bitterness, it was very interesting. I thought about almost everyone I know who suffered from one of the illnesses on the list, and each of them struggle with bitterness. It was pretty intense. I tell you this so you don't take it lightly. I also speak from experience. Several years ago, 3 or 4 I can't remember now, but an incident happened with your father and I. He apologized and tried to make peace with me, but I wouldn't forgive him. My anger turned to bitterness, and I had bitterness towards him for over a year. It was to the point it almost destroyed our relationship. I was so far away from God, it got to the point I couldn't even pray. It pretty much ruined my life, I was so unhappy, I had no joy, I wasn't content, I had no peace. It was bad, finally, at a revival God got a hold of my heart (thank Jesus for that) and I let go of the bitterness and forgave my dad. Everything wasn't fixed immediately, but it was a start. Today, we're like best friends. If it wasn't for God's grace, I don't know where I'd be. When I tell you God's been good, I mean it from the bottom of my heart, I don't say it to say it, if I hadn't of forgiven my dad, I don't know where I'd be right now. I know people who stay bitter for years, some even decades, and they are so empty and hurting on the inside. In 11 Cor. 2:10, "To whom ye forgive anything, I forgive also...Let Satan should get an advantage of us:..." It's so important for us to forgive, so we don't give place to the devil. Bitterness is one of his strongest tools. There's so many reasons people hold onto bitterness, but one of the most common reasons is we want that person to pay, we don't want them to forgive (treat them as NOT guilty), we want them to know they hurt us. In doing so we hurt ourselves. When you forgive some one it's not for them, it's to free yourself. The only person you're hurting when you don't forgive is you. I know that doesn't make sense, but forgive and it's true. You feel free. The problem is with most people, sometimes they're blinded so they can't see why or how they've hurt you, so they never ask for your forgiveness. Or they have and they just don't want too, but don't wait around for some one to ask for your forgiveness, because it might never come. Instead forgive them and walk in that freedom. Trust me you'll be glad you did. I'm going to tell you now, people will hurt you, it's a part of life, you deal with it and go on. Don't spend a year or years waiting to forgive them, you're missing out on what God has for you, ok? I love you!!!

Your Sister,
Larra